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Valentine's Day (14​/​02​/​2015)

from ♠ by Paul In The Hat

/

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about

This was originally a diary entry about something that happened on 14/02/2013 with a childhood friend.

lyrics

I'm so scared of my childhood friend,
because I know I'll either mess up or she'll decide she hates me again.
And in every attempt I made to fix my mistakes I became further away
from what she loved in the first place

Which was me.
And everything I am.
Not who I tried to be and not who I tried to become.


But I still miss you
Because I still know who we really are.
But we can't go back,
I've lied too much to backtrack our path,
I've fucked up so much with these stupid complaints
about my life I didn't realize nothing needed to change
Because I...
Had my...
Had my...
...had my best friend back again.


I know I've got no place to say,
but there's so much you never explained to me.
After years on our separate ways,
I found you with me on a Valentine's day.

Chillstep and candles,
and blankets around us
We lay on the bed
and out of the darkness you said

"Paul...
You...
Are...
My....
Soulmate...."

After five years apart, you still had all my heart,
we talked all night until the sunrise crept through the window
and you left.
But what you said stayed with me.
I was still in love with you and I always had been.
But then... you changed.
And I'm convinced I'm the one to blamed.
But I'm so confused about what I'd done,
I was so paranoid for months,
because before I'd even realized you were back in my life
you were gone.
And I was left by myself.
...Until I saw you hand in hand with somebody else.

...What did I do?

...What did I do?



...What did I do??





...

credits

from ♠, released March 7, 2015

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